‘You’re trying to ruin my wedding’: Woman Demands All the Bridesmaids Wear a $800 Dress At Her Wedding, Her Cousin Refuses, Leading to Family Dispute

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 19 hr. ago TheCoolGirl Next Door AITAH for refusing to attend a wedding as a bridesmaid because I don't want to buy a specific dress?
  • 02
    (For some context, I'm 19 and a college student and I have a part- time job.) My cousin is getting married in 2 months and asked me to be one of her bridesmaids
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    She had already told me that she wanted all the bridesmaids to wear the same color and that was fine for me. It turns out that yesterday she informed me that she doesn't want me to wear just any dress in the color she wants, but she wants me to buy a specific dress that costs 800 euros (865 US dollars)
  • 04
    I don't have that money to spend on a dress but she suggested I borrow money from my mother. I refused and told her that I really can't borrow so much money because I'll have to pay her back. She told me that if I can't buy the dress I can't be one of her bridesmaid and I was okay with that.
  • 05
    I will only wear once. So now some people are telling me that I'm about to "ruin the wedding". Am I in the wrong here? Sorry for any spelling mistakes, English is not my first language
  • 06
    Sea_Pain_967 • 19h ago NTA. That's a lot of money, and a ridiculous amount to ask someone to pay. If she's not willing to pay for it herself and can't compromise, she's the one ruining her own wedding, not you.
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    • curiousblondwon... 18h ago NTA But tell the family "if you think I'm ruining the wedding, then you pay for my $800 dress and it's NOT a loan" see how fast they back off then.
  • 08
    CriticalSimple3122 • 19h ago I didn't pay that much for my actual wedding dress. If she (and the family) are so determined to see you in this dress, they can pay for it. Not loan, pay. NTA
  • 09
    Melodic Policy765 • 18h ago I'm guessing bridesmaids are dropping out over the cost of the dress.
  • 10
    celticmusebooks • 18h ago Seriously, what part of "I can't afford the dress do they not understand?" How does borrowing money you can't afford to pay back solve the problem. $800 dollars for a bridesmaids dress is ridiculous.
  • 11
    Who waits until 2 months before the wedding to pick the bridesmaids dresses? Are you sure you aren't a "second tier" choice for the wedding party after one of the first choice people bowed out over the dress cost?
  • 12
    Tell them if you borrowed the dress it would take you a VERY long time to pay them back-- not more than $10 a month at best.
  • 13
    Owittacious1 • 18h ago NTA. Not going into debt for someone else's wedding is a pretty healthy boundary and sound financial decision. That's the goofiest thing I ever heard. If she thinks $800 is nbd then she's should be comfortable covering the cost herself.
  • 14
    dr_lucia 18h ago but she wants me to buy a specific dress that costs 800 dollars. If she insists on this, that's a good reason to decline the honor. I'm sure she can find someone else. /sarc.
  • 15
    Ok_Shine1982 • 18h ago "LEND" constitutes you still have to pay it back if they're so bothered about you so called sabotaging the wedding they can gift. you the dress money...$800 for a bridesmaid dress is ridiculous imo
  • 16
    Different-Daikon... 18h ago ΝΤΑ Your family can gift you the dress if they want you to be in the wedding so much. You shouldn't even think wasting 800 dollars on a dress you won't wear more than once.
  • 17
    Interesting_Chef _... • 19h ago Tell them to gift you the dress. You have no desire for a loan that needs paid back. I'd get the dress and then just not go in spite
  • 18
    Trippedwire48 • 18h ago NTA. That is absolutely ridiculous to expect her bridesmaids to buy an $800 dress. She'll also want certain shoes, hair and makeup, and accessories that you'll have to cover typically. It's not even just
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    the cost of the dress. You can step down as a bridesmaid. For context, I gave my bridesmaids 6 different dresses to choose from through a Bridal store chain. They just had to be in my chosen color. The dresses ranged from $90-$150. The two
  • 20
    weddings I've been in, one did something similar and the other wanted everyone to be in the same dress. The dresses were under $200.

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